Dead Pixel of the Week: Woman Tries to Kidnap her ex-Internet Boyfriend

by Bukola Ekundayo on August 31, 2008

in Gaming News

I’ve always been leery of so-called “Internet Romances”. I can’t tell you how many failed internet romances I’ve witnessed. They usually follow the same story line:

  1. A vibrant burst of chemistry sparks between two people via instant messenger or e-mail.
  2. They are almost always MILES away from each other. Usually in another state or across the world.
  3. The person with the most to lose spends hundreds if not thousands of dollars to visit their new found love.
  4. When they meet it becomes glaringly obvious that your internet lover looks nothing like their pictures posted online.
  5. Things fizzle out and die into an awkward pool of nothingness.

This is how the story should’ve ended for Kimberly Jernigan and her internet beau. But she decided to fight for her internet romance. So what if the man didn’t find her attractive in person. This woman wasn’t going to take no for an answer. To the tune of Rick Astley ‘s, “Never Gonna Give You Up” Ms. Jernigan:

- Drove over 500 miles to surprise her man at his Pennsylvania workplace.

- Strolled into his workplace but failed to kidnap him at gunpoint.

- Pulled a James Bond and dressed up as a postal worker to obtain her beau’s new address. Apparently he felt the    need to move from Pennsylvania to Delaware.

- Made a mockery of our Postal System and succeeded in getting his new address!

- With her sidekick (a dog named Gogi) she broke into her beau’s new apartment.

- When the poor man came home, he left and called the cops after he saw someone pointing a laser beam at his chest.

- The police arrived to find a pair of handcuffs, a roll of duct tape, a Taser and a BB gun as well as the suspect’s dog.

- Police said Jernigan had bound her dog, Gogi, with duct tape and put him in the bathroom as he was making too much noise.

- She was apprehended by the cops after a brief struggle. She now faces charges of attempted kidnapping, burglary and aggravated menacing.

For once, Ms. Pixel has been rendered speechless.

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  • http://www.voxexmachina.com Kyt Dotson

    Maybe more people should treat online romances as trysts?

    The thing that comes to my mind is that the new long-distance relationship promoted by IM and gaming hearkens almost to the barely-met betrothed of Victorian and Civil War era. Up early every morning, rushing to the door to catch the post, reading and writing missives across great distances—exchanging lithographs.

    The modern version is far more condensed.

    I know the dangers of Internet romances, but it doesn't stop me from having crushes on people. But then, my brain will also gently make the distinction between out of my league and out of my state.

    The case of this article, though, also included a demented personality… It’s really hard to account for that.

  • http://mspixel.com bukolae

    Thanks for the awesome comment Kyt! Internet romances can be amazing. I think the problem comes when you don't properly vet your potential lover (this should filter out the demented folk). Much of this could be avoid by making the commitment to feasible relationships where it isn't a hardship to meet as soon as possible. I met my boyfriend online. He happened to be in the same state as me. Meeting him in person was easy and affordable :)

  • http://mspixel.com bukolae

    Thanks for the awesome comment Kyt! Internet romances can be amazing. I think the problem comes when you don't properly vet your potential lover (this should filter out the demented folk). Much of this could be avoid by making the commitment to feasible relationships where it isn't a hardship to meet as soon as possible. I met my boyfriend online. He happened to be in the same state as me. Meeting him in person was easy and affordable :)

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